the importance of fathers

dad son daughter.

by Derek King

One of the foundational principles of being a man, and therefore a fundamental element of fatherhood, is responsibility.

Many people in American society today scoff at and do everything possible to stay away from the responsibility of marriage.

Marriage is a public ceremony to show the world you have made a promise to be committed to one person for the rest of your life. If a person can’t even be committed, how are they to be expected to fulfill their role as a primary caregiver to the lives they help bring to Earth? It is sad for me to see that to a vast majority views pregnancy as merely an adverse side-effect. Here is the results of some research I have done:

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America—one out of every three—live in biological father-absent homes. Nine in ten American parents agree this is a “crisis.”

Consequently, there is a “father factor” in nearly all of the social issues facing America today. But the hope lies in the fact that children with involved fathers do better across every measure of child well-being than their peers in father-absent homes.

In a study examining father involvement with 134 children of adolescent mothers over the first 10 years of life, researchers found that father-child contact was associated with better socio-emotional and academic functioning. The results indicated that children with more involved fathers experience fewer behavioral problems and score higher on reading achievement tests. This study showed the significance of the role of fathers in the lives of at-risk children, even in the cases of nonresident fathers.

Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A’s. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.

One thing I have learned growing up is that boys desperately seek to have a male role model to teach them what it means to be a man. If they do not have this father figure in place, they will find one. Fatherless boys are like loaded guns, full of potential in the hands of anyone whom they look up to as a role model. In a daughter’s life, a father demonstrates how she is to be treated by a male who loves her. Without this, she never knows what love really looks like and never has someone there to teach her that she deserves better than the charm of seduction.



Weather Report

87° and Clear to Cloudy and Rain

(It stormed again this afternoon, though of shorter duration.)


3 Responses to “the importance of fathers”

  1. 1 Silke
    May 16, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    Well written Derek, but the Father’s love to his daughter, I can not agree with you, unfortunately. My father has loved me too much, if you know what I mean.

  2. 2 Derek King
    May 17, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    I am very sorry to hear that. I understand how you feel and to some extent I can empathize. I was molested when I was 6 years old. I wish there was a way that I can make your pain go away, but I can’t. As you read my posts on fatherhood, keep in mind that some people misuse the trust and innocence of children. That man was no true father.

  3. 3 Frank Manning
    May 18, 2016 at 3:13 am

    Excellent series of articles, Derek. People like Matt and Dan and I are here to help you, if you want our help and advice or honest criticism.

    I was a single dad to a daughter from the time she was 9 years old. She’s now a mother herself,and it’s just marvelous to see her being a mommy to her 5-year-old son and 4-month old daughter. Guess I did something right. Don’t worry, Derek, you’ll be a great dad. Just don’t try to overcorrect for the mistakes your own dad made. You are you, not him.

    So sad and enraging to read what you say, Silke. I had the old-fashioned Italian father attitude that my job was to protect my baby girl from all harm and danger. Her boyfriends were afraid of me. On the eve of her marriage I told my son-in-law, “If you ever hurt her, they will never find your body.” To hurt your own daughter the way your father hurt you is just unimaginable to me. My heart goes out to you.

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