by Alex King

To state the obvious, a crossroads is a meeting point for travelers. Each who passes through is on a journey of some sort. Some journeys are simple, those traveling from one place to another. Others are sad, wanderers lost, trying to find their path. Some of these travelers are on a good path and utilize the crossroads as a resting point. The last are malicious, nefarious in every intent, their path purposefully darkened.

At the outset of my journey, I was one of the last sort. For personal reasons, I decided to spend some time at one particular crossroads. Being unable to continue for a full day, I determined to keep a vigil through the night. This night will forever hold a monumental place in my mind. There were many tests, trials and lessons in store. Deception, fear and humility are the three I’ll discuss here.

We are shielded by the benevolent forces we call upon. Some say God, others look to the Great Spirits, and still others confer with their own superego. What truly matters is that we keep our eyes and ears open, our minds focused on the light. In this heightened level of awareness, Truth is common sense. Asatruar call spiritual deception the mists of Nivlheim. Like a mist, it veils the mind, clouds the eyes and clogs the ears.

Continuing this apt analogy, mists bring with them shadows, from which are wrought the elements of fear. To fear the dark is to fear the unknown. It is the unknown that terrifies humanity. What we find common, we find comfortable, and when comfort is lost, fear is born. Fear is multifaceted, each aspect representing another unknown. Conversely, knowledge brings confidence, an aspect of love, dispelling fear.

As I overcame these and other challenges throughout the night, my greatest challenge came to light: pride. I recognized and quelled the blatant forms of it, but I couldn’t find the root to dig it out. Of all the things Lone Heron taught me, the greatest lesson she has left me with is that of humility. I am much better equipped, now, to recognize some of the more subtle aspects of pride.

I’ve come a long way and I have a long way yet to go, but I thank the gods for what healing I have received. Finally, I’m on the mend.



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11 Responses to “crossroads”

  1. 1 matt
    April 17, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    Interesting, Alex, and also good to hear that you have made such progress during your sojourn at Estrella Vista and time of sharing with Lone Heron. Sadly, few of those on the journey of life may be fortunate enough to experience such singular moments of truth and enlightenment, experiences of such significance as to change the course of their life. This is special for you, Alex, because your experience may not only help you heal and provide focus for your future, but may also help you bring light to others who struggle as you have.

    • April 17, 2016 at 8:41 pm

      This first bit is only about the time I spent at the crossroads. This has nothing to do with my being in Estrella Vista. My next post will involve my travel to Texas. I do hope that by sharing these experiences, I will be able to help others in some small way. Regardless, this is the essence of what I went through recently, here for the readers of Wandervogel Diary to peruse.

      -Alex King

      • April 18, 2016 at 3:38 pm

        May the road rise up to meet you.
        May the wind be always at your back.
        May the sun shine warm upon your face.
        May the rain fall softly on your fields.
        And until we meet again,
        God hold you in the palm of his hand.
        Love and safe travels,

        An Irish Blessing for Alex

      • April 18, 2016 at 4:03 pm

        Thank you for this. I’m not familiar with the Irish and their ways, but I’ve always been interested. This is a very pleasant blessing and I’m honored you decided to share it with me.

        -Alex King

  2. 5 Hat Bailey
    April 17, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    I believe that such light and help are always available universally Alex, because “the kingdom of Heaven is within you,” as a wise master has told us. Unfortunately its subtle location is the last place most look, and usually after they are flat on their back with nowhere to turn that they haven’t already tried, and which inevitably failed them. That is the irony, that this treasure is always as close as breathing. Like Dorothy in the land of Oz, the means of her return home has been with her all the time as she made her long and trying quest. Why do the sufferers wait so long to finally find the solution that works, the help that is there for anyone continually? As you have found, it has a lot to do with pride in its many forms, and because we are taught right from the beginning, in a multitude of ways, by parents, teachers and peers, to look in the wrong direction and the wrong places. Blessed are you, Alex, for your willingness, because that willingness is the crucial ingredient that opens the door to something that will bring you increasing wonder and joy, as you get into the groove. Your own specific path that this inner knowledge will open for you. Things begin to flow, your gifts flow to those who need them in the instant in which they are needed, and oh so wonderfully, the gifts of others, given with love and joy, find their way to you exactly when they are so needed as well. These are sometimes not the gifts that you thought you needed to be happy and fulfilled which your ego insisted were necessary for your happiness, but you will discover, when you are willing to acknowledge it, that they are exactly what you always needed and never found.

    • April 17, 2016 at 8:46 pm

      Thank you for your words of encouragement, though I must say, you have jumped ahead of my posts. I have planned another, like, 5 posts at least before I address what you are talking about. I’m happy to read that you see where this is all going, I just hope you will forgive my lack of substance in this comment. I wish to reserve my stance on the issue of inner wisdom until I arrive at the post.

      -Alex King

      • 7 Hat Bailey
        April 17, 2016 at 9:01 pm

        I am thanking you Alex, for your willingness to share such personal experiences, that are both expressive, inspirational and potentially very helpful to others who are dealing with similar situations and obstacles to happiness and peace. I am looking forward to the continuing account of your journey, and patiently await the next installment.

      • April 17, 2016 at 9:59 pm

        Tomorrow shall see the next installment. Thank you for your patience.

        -Alex King

  3. 9 Daryl Watton
    April 17, 2016 at 11:53 pm

    Thanks for sharing, Alex. I have noticed, too, with my correspondence with David Childress that there is a certain pride in the way he carries himself in his letters. Oh, he is humble in that he knows he has done wrong, accepted his punishment for that wrongdoing and awaits the inevitable abandonment he has faced all his life and comes to expect. Yet, he is rightly proud of surviving his incarceration so far, becoming a devout Christian, and knowing that he should be treated better than he is and deserves a second chance at life sooner rather than at his appointed parole date. Do you think this pride is a survival mechanism and will be a demon to wrestle with upon his parole? I admire the way he stands up for himself and earning achievements (such as with his Toastmaster speeches and self-education), but I wonder if this pride will get in the way of his making friends and getting along with others in the free. I’ll await to hear your thoughts on that matter.

    • April 18, 2016 at 12:03 am

      Pride is an aspect of fear. It is one manifestation of the quality of self-obsession. Entitlement is wrought from the fear of loss. He will likely struggle with this for years to come. The illusion of humility feeds pride. One is then able to say: look how humble I am. I know this because this was a primary behavioral pattern in the past. Unfortunately, with pride, encouraging humility only produces an opposing response. I hope that, one day, I will have the chance to meet Childress. Perhaps by sharing with him my own path, he can find his. Regardless, your support of this individual is admirable and, though it is not my place to do so, I thank you for your demonstrating your humanity and compassion.

      -Alex King

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