This morning Lone Heron called, and in the course of our discussing a case in which a young person refused to accept my ‘kinder gentler’ view of how things work, she recounted an experience with one of her clients which she believed to possibly be an example of demonic possession. She believed this case to be so beyond her abilities to be of help, she first referred this client to a priest. After visiting her priest, the client was transformed and receptive to the help that Lone Heron could provide.

I don’t believe in demonic possession, but I do believe that people have got to be willing to change before they are ready to benefit from any help that another person can give. Otherwise it is a wasted effort.

So whatever it takes to make the first step.

You want to believe in demons? Okay… though I think it would serve you better in your life if you believed you are the source of the power to change your life, and not something outside of you.

If you persist in believing in your “powerlessness” and can only take the first step by relying on a “higher power,” so be it. The important thing for now is experiencing the relief of making an immediate change.

I am not keen on believing in psychologists who prey on people’s weakness. This is why of all the theories of therapy, I am most enamored with something called “Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” (REBT).

REBT was created and developed by the American psychotherapist and psychologist Albert Ellis. REBT is one form of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and was first expounded by Ellis in the mid-1950s; development continued until his death in 2007.

The fundamental belief in REBT is that a process of “self talk” based on beliefs takes place between some adversity (or activating event) and the consequence. Contrary to what is implied by “John makes me mad,” one’s beliefs about John and what you tell yourself about John is what makes you feel mad. This is expressed in the A-B-C-model of psychological disturbance and change.

According to REBT, if a person’s evaluative B (belief about the A, activating event) is rigid, absolutistic, and dysfunctional, the C (the emotional and behavioral consequence) is likely to be self-defeating and destructive. Alternatively, if a person’s evaluative B belief is preferential, flexible, and constructive, the C, the emotional and behavioral consequence, is likely to be self-helping and constructive.

In other words, how we choose to think about something is the unrecognized intermediate step in how we choose to react to some external person or event. We are in the driver’s seat, and not a passive passenger constrained or guided by anyone or anything beyond our control.



Groove of the Day

Listen to Crowded House performing “I Feel Possessed”


Weather Report

45° and Cloudy


3 Responses to “possessed”

  1. 1 jax
    February 28, 2015 at 8:04 am

    “Sociopaths often target empaths—someone who is affected by other people’s energies, who has an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others, whose life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods—because they pose the greatest threat to detection.”
    “Many sociopaths wreak havoc in a covert way, so that their underlying condition remains hidden for many years. They can possess a superficial charm, which diverts attention from disturbing aspects of their nature. They also can be extremely diabolical.”

    I saw this from another article of yours. It sounds hellishly familiar. Ha. I do recall living with a person who sat in a room day by day acting exactly like this. After many months have past I have been able to observe on a less bias level and after speaking with a professional, I do believe Alex is a sociopath.

    He only shows feelings based on what he believes he should be showing based on what the other person is seeking. He also shows no empathy towards his actions towards others. The only feelings he shows our resentment and are selfishly centered, his feelings are never expressed outward towards others. I have never met a person who would leave a person crying in pain the way he left me. I recall times when he physically hurt me and he had no emotion in his eyes. It was as if looking at a blank slate from a person who was suppose to care for you.

    There was one incident when he had been drinking he grabbed me and bit me until I bled and would not let go. Moments before he had told me I was the enemy. I still have a scar on my leg from it. A month prior when he was telling the story of how he killed his father, he had told me he killed his father because he saw his father as the enemy. My love, my empathy made me not afraid of him. Months later I see how deranged he actually is. I don’t believe Alex is a killer I think only due to his stature, but I do believe his is an intelligent manipulator and a sociopath. He once told me he had to learn as a child how to show emotion, as he did not know how. He is a textbook psycho.

    I feel lucky to have dodged a bullet, from being with a person who was abusive on so many different levels. I actually want to thank you for taking him out of my life. People like me who have experienced abuse as children often seek people like this, I probably never would have realized it if I hadn’t spent that time with him. I am thankful for the learning experience as it was the beginning of an understanding for me but at the same time months later am chilled by the person he is.

    On more than one occasion he expressed he felt no sympathy towards his father’s death or guilt for coaxing his brother’s decision. He would brag about how he could just go to Texas and wait it out for you to stroke out so he could have the property. He’s a very sick person I’ve realized.

    Despite the negativity and hatred Derek has shown towards me, Derek however I feel was the opposite and I have sympathy for how coerced he was by this person. I believe there is hope for Derek and a positive future. Alex however I believe will never change his way of thinking. My sympathy goes out towards everyone else whose lives he came into, leaving them hurt with no remorse to only walk away feeling no responsibility or guilt. He causes damage wherever he goes. I fear for whoevers life he could go into. I see violence and repeat offenses in his future if he does not seek therapy.

    A part of me still feels bad for him despite the cruelness he showed me over our 4 year friendship but never again will I allow a person like him to take their own anguish out on me. I am thankful for that. I thank you Dan.

    • February 28, 2015 at 2:23 pm

      The way I have Estrella Vista set up, there is no way that any one person could take over the property if I did “stroke out.” Alex refused to even read the document which forms the basis of the social compact I envision for this property, and I have therefore concluded that he is not suitable to serve as a successor trustee for Estrella Vista. The responsibility requires a greater respect for the needs of community members than he possesses.

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