12
Dec
14

birds of a feather

wedding-love-actually

I have streamed enough popular TV and movies to know that what I am about to say is politically incorrect in the extreme. But I don’t care. I’m old and the product of another age. Anyway, old people are supposed to get away with saying stuff that younger people cannot.

Statistics show that 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce in the US. As a society, we seem to have lost sight of something very basic and extremely important to the resilience and perpetuation of human relationships, and this adversely effects any children involved.

Are others besides me alarmed by the great number of interracial romances and unions depicted as normative by Hollywood and others? The problem is not “race mixing” per se, but the fact that race is so often an indicator of differences in couples’ socioeconomic backgrounds. It is hard enough making a relationship work without adding the added problem of radically different zones of cultural familiarity and comfort.

Holly and I knew that our marriage was due to run its full course whenand this may sound materialist as hellwe discovered that her family furniture and mine went together. Furniture, of course, had nothing to do with it; the compatibility that mattered was that we came from similar family backgrounds. The furniture was merely proof.

As African-Americans achieve earning and social parity with Whites, this question will eventually fade into irrelevance. However, the road to this point has been long and torturous and is far from resolved. White supremacy has been an organizing principle in the US for hundreds of years, and a few movies from Hollywood aren’t going to change things overnight.

A few years ago I was invited to a party at the Chicagoland home of a childhood acquaintance who, during college, was one of the first white girls I’d known who dated a black guy. When I reminded her of this, she flatly denied it had ever happened. But I remember what I remember. She’d introduced me to the guy at a nightclub as her boyfriend.

Perhaps if we were farther along, she would remember herself as the pioneer that she was of a “new normal” in modern racial relations. But that day is probably still a long way off.

۞

Groove of the Day

 Listen to The Rosenbergs performing “Birds of a Feather”

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1 Response to “birds of a feather”


  1. 1 ed rog
    December 12, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    i think white people are ones on the losing end now and it will continue to get worse


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