life goes on


Since Alex left the other day, I have been haunted by lingering doubts about whether I might have handled things differently—better—and thereby prevented or forestalled his departure.

But all doubts were banished last night when I received a phone call from one of my most trusted sources of advice—and my biggest contributor—that I had handled the situation appropriately. He told me it almost directly paralleled his experiences with a daughter who was handling her life in a most irresponsible manner. He complimented me on my patience with Alex and said he would not have handled things so well.

His call was one of several that I received since announcing Alex’s decision and departure. Every caller expressed disappointment that things had not gone as I’d hoped, but reinforced the belief that there must be consequences for irresponsibility, otherwise we are enabling immaturity.

I have talked a couple of times with Lone Heron, the female parricide in her 40s who has come so far since she killed her parents a quarter-century ago. Her experience has been a guiding light for me, a reminder that this is incredibly hard work for anyone on the road to redemption and that the route is indirect and has many roadblocks and detours.

Above all, it is dependent on one’s openness to possibilities and a willingness to change. Those come to him who needs them in their own time. There is no formula or express route that can be supplied from the outside.

In the meantime, life goes on and I will continue endeavoring to create a setting in which such change can occur.


Groove of the Day

 Listen to Mr. Kane performing “Life Goes On”


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