make time for what’s important

brigid and liam schulte
Last night I heard an interview on Fresh Air by Terri Gross with Brigid Schulte, the author of a new book called Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time.
What I liked about her message is that we all have creative options to live the kinds of lives we want to live, regardless of how much time we think we have—if we will only exercise the freedom to choose that each of us has.
The following is a description of the book and author, as taken from Amazon.com:
overwhelmed schulteOverwhelmed is a book about time pressure and modern life. It is a deeply reported and researched, honest and often hilarious journey from feeling that, as one character in the book said, time is like a “rabid lunatic” running naked and screaming as your life flies past you, to understanding the historical and cultural roots of the overwhelm, how worrying about all there is to do and the pressure of feeling like we’re never have enough time to do it all, or do it well, is “contaminating” our experience of time, how time pressure and stress is resculpting our brains and shaping our workplaces, our relationships and squeezing the space that the Greeks said was the point of living a Good Life: that elusive moment of peace called leisure.
Author Brigid Schulte, an award-winning journalist for the Washington Post—and harried mother of two—began the journey quite by accident, after a time-use researcher insisted that she, like all American women, had 30 hours of leisure each week. Stunned, she accepted his challenge to keep a time diary and began a journey that would take her from the depths of what she described as the Time Confetti of her days to a conference in Paris with time researchers from around the world, to North Dakota, of all places, where academics are studying the modern love affair with busyness, to Yale, where neuroscientists are finding that feeling overwhelmed is actually shrinking our brains, to exploring new lawsuits uncovering unconscious bias in the workplace, why the US has no real family policy, and where states and cities are filling the federal vacuum.
She spent time with mothers drawn to increasingly super intensive parenting standards, and mothers seeking to pull away from it. And she visited the walnut farm of the world’s most eminent motherhood researcher, an evolutionary anthropologist, to ask, are mothers just “naturally” meant to be the primary parent? The answer will surprise you.
Along the way, she was driven by two questions, Why are things the way they are? and, How can they be better? She found real world bright spots of innovative workplaces, couples seeking to shift and share the division of labor at home and work more equitably and traveled to Denmark, the happiest country on earth, where fathers—and mothers—have more pure leisure time than parents in other industrial countries. She devoured research about the science of play, why it’s what makes us human, and the feminist leisure research that explains why it’s so hard for women to allow themselves to. The answers she found are illuminating, perplexing and ultimately hopeful. The book both outlines the structural and policy changes needed—already underway in small pockets—and mines the latest human performance and motivation science to show the way out of the overwhelm and toward a state that time use researchers call… Time Serenity.
If you want to listen to the interview (which will certainly take less time than reading the book), you can do so here. It will take about 37 minutes.

1 Response to “make time for what’s important”

  1. March 13, 2014 at 8:30 am

    I think people have no problem making the time for things they find important. I would even say we all do. Easily. But we do have a problem deciding (or admitting!) what is really important. And we tend to forget that it’s never about our Declaration of Importance, but rather our deeds. Saying that kids are most important to us is just what we were taught – or what we feel – is right. A perception of things. An image we create. But our perception of priorities is of absolutely no significance. If your perception is that kids are mean little creatures meant only to ruin your life (and body ;)), but you still devote your time to them, to play, work, learn and have fun together and help them anytime, anywhere, you’ll still be a parent of the year and your kids will have amazing childhood. And, what many choose to ignore – vice versa.

    So, we should never convince ourselves (or anyone else) that our priorities are right. Instead, we should make a simple list of 10 things we spend most time (and money) on in a week or a month and our priorities will show themselves. Then it’s only a matter of whether we like what we see or think we should change something. But make no mistake – what you see in that list is what everyone else sees with you. Sorry. 🙂

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