Archive for November 4th, 2013


taking control

astronaut 1

As with so many aspects of our culture, we take the best and brightest among us and clip their wings. We are afraid of exceptional talent and deeds. Maybe it is because exceptional people may show us up as mediocre.

I submit that the juveniles who commit parricide are exceptional. Most people who have suffered abuse let it fester until middle age before either admitting publicly that the abuse happened or striking back. Only 10% have the guts to defend themselves and bring a stop to it while it is happening.

Last week a friend in the UK told me about a young Manchester boy of 14 who stabbed his father. He had been sexually and physically abused by his father since the age of 6. Apparently the boy was known to the authorities and he was to be removed from his father’s “care” this week. Unfortunately, it was too late.
Had this happened in the US, this would be just the beginning of a sad and lengthy story of further victimization of the child—this time by the state. But because it happened in England, this is the beginning of the child’s redemption. A member of the Metropolitan Police in Manchester has confirmed that no criminal charges will be brought against the child as he is a minor and they do not believe that he should be sent to a juvenile facility over this.
In America there is not a belief, as in other countries like the UK, that a child who is being abused has a right to self-defense. Such children who first attempt to run away from their abusers are often returned to their abusers by police. Maybe it is a vestige of slavery that children are treated as if they are the property of their parents and subject to whatever that parent wants to do to the child, including torture and abuse.
I categorically reject this notion. If a child is born into a dysfunctional family, I believe that the healthiest thing for that child to do is leave the family and its problems behind, whatever it takes. The need to move on is the heart of the advice on healing that Lone Heron has recently offered to Austin Eversole in a letter, the text of which appears as the first comment to this post.
To find happiness, each of us must take control of (and be responsible for) his/her own life. It often isn’t easy, but always necessary.