forty and counting

Today is my fortieth wedding anniversary. I hope you’re not becoming weary of this old guy reflecting about things from the past. (I do sometimes become a little bored with myself, to tell you the truth.) I’ve always been a very forward-looking person, a “visionary” as some people have said, and have always taken pride in that. But when it comes to true love such as Holly and I had, I only have memories of past experiences to sustain me… or so I thought until recently.

I am going to tell you about a recent experience which proves to me the truth of what I have been saying all along: that Love Is Eternal.

(Oh yes, I’ve always believed it as I’ve said it, but it’s great to receive a little affirmation of your beliefs every once in a while—and I got it in spades a week ago when I made a remarkable discovery.)

Before I tell you about this experience, I must take you back nineteen years to August 1993 when Holly was dying and we were both trying to come to grips with how each of us would go on when we parted at the inevitable fork in the road.

We were seated together at breakfast eating raspberries in cream. We had been married for 21 years and had been a couple for a quarter century if you count the years before our wedding. We’d grown up and matured together through so many years of hardship in which we’d drawn on one another’s strengths. The prospect of separation was unnatural and frightening to both of us.

In preparation for the delivery of an eulogy at her funeral, I had been researching catasterisms—a literary tradition in ancient religions and mythology in which the souls of the dead are said to become stars and, in the case of great souls, constellations—and I had an idea for a way for us to always experience moments of connection no matter where or when we might find ourselves after her death.

“Let’s pick out a star that we can each observe wherever we are and use it as a meeting place,” I suggested.

“That would be nice,” she said as she touched my hand.

So I used the remaining raspberries in the bottom of my bowl to show her an easy-to-find constellation and how it can be used as a pointer to a star—our star—and we agreed.

I can’t even guess how often I have gazed on that star in the nearly two decades since Holly’s death and have communed with her spirit there. Its presence has been a comfort and a source of encouragement to me.  As long as the stars blaze in the nighttime sky, I will always be able to be with her—that is, in those months when this particular star is visible. There is a long stretch each year when it is not.

Now here is the point in our story which brings us to the present day.

I have to tell you that I am no astronomer. At the time I created that raspberry star map, my knowledge of the stars (like most other city people) was rudimentary at best. It is only since I have been living at Estrella Vista that I have been able to observe the long cycles of the risings and settings of stars and constellations and have begun to use their passage across the heavens as a kind of calendar and method for time-keeping.

So perhaps you will appreciate my amazement and awe at the discovery I made last week: that the very first day this particular star rises above the eastern horizon to make its annual return, just before sunrise, is on Holly’s birthday.

It’s like Holly’s spirit is “reborn” for me every year—and on of all days but her actual birthday!

I promise you, I didn’t plan it this way. It is a mystical coincidence, an affirmation that our cosmic “meeting place” is more than just the haphazard invention of a lovelorn widower, but an inspired and real thing. It is proof enough for me that our true love is not limited by human bounds of time, place, or mortality.

True love is indeed eternal.


Groove of the Day 

Listen to Tracy Chapman, one of Holly’s favorite artists, performing “True Love”


10 Responses to “forty and counting”

  1. 1 matt
    August 19, 2012 at 6:51 am

    A wonderful discovery and a wonderful memory.

  2. August 19, 2012 at 10:49 am

    What an awesome revelation Dan, Happy Anniversary to you and Holly. May your memories & revelations remain bright and spectacular until you two meet again.

  3. 3 Cindy
    August 19, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    I study astrology, primarily from a reincarnation perspective. Your insights are so beautiful. There is an asteroid named Holly and I believe she is rising about 6 degrees before the sun in Leo at the moment, and if I have your correct birthdate, she is also close to the point where she was at your birth. Also, the nodes of the moon take just under 19 years to return to the same place, so that means that they are close now to where they were in 1993, when the asteroids Daniel and Holly were traveling together close to the north node in Sagittarius. I love to see these connections. Thank you for sharing these insights, and for the work that you are doing for these kids.

  4. 4 Cindy
    August 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    p.s….correction, for actual viewing of the constellation, the asteroid Holly would be in the constellation of Cancer right now, and @ 6 degrees before the sun last week, closer to eight degrees now. The sidereal zodiac is not what I normally work with, so I had to remember that the tropical zodiac uses an offset from the visible stars…sorry for the confusion…or for confusing you now :-).

  5. 5 Helena
    August 19, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    Dan, I wrote this Gospel Tract myself and I want you to read it please! http://www.deliveranceminister.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=730

    Helena Garilano, Mark 16:17 Jesus Christ gave Christians authority to cast out demons. http://WWW.DELIVERANCEMINISTER.COM


    • August 20, 2012 at 8:10 am

      Surely to goodness Helena you are not going to try and takes this man’s revelations and visions he has shared with his readers and make them of your own so that you can twist or change if you wish them into something they are not. Unless I am wayyyyyy off track here and you can correct me if I am wrong. Visionaries are not demons, and for someone who writes about the bible I am really surprised that you went as far as to past judgement here. What’s that old saying about casting the first stone?

      • August 20, 2012 at 8:18 am

        Danab, Helena is a good friend of our kids and this blog. I don’t have the impression that she has said or implied anything offensive to me. I put my beliefs out there so that others can reflect on these observations through their own particular lens. I’m cool with this and hope you will be too.

      • August 20, 2012 at 8:23 am

        Oh Yes Dan I am cool with that my friend, I just wanted others to have their own thoughts and beliefs as well. It always nice to have a variety of followers out there, visionaries, christians, and non-believers alike. Thanks for sharing the information regarding Helena.

      • August 28, 2012 at 9:08 pm

        Thank You Dan, I am not here to hurt anyone. I wanted you to see it because I wanted to give you information that will help you. I love those kids and write to them, James Prindle and Torey Adamick. I’m glad you didn’t take it the wrong way . Dan you are a very gentle man.

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